We made our way out to Jamberoo Action Park after breakfast, expecting a fair crowd of folks clamoring at the entrance due to its size and renown. Instead, there were a couple of kids and their parents (together with some clearly misplaced tumbleweeds) – the fact that it was the middle of Autumn and the weather-folk had prognosticated precipitation may have had something to do with this.

After committing to a second mortgage to generate sufficient funds to cover our tickets, we made our way to a suitable set of changing rooms and storage facilities. Our first stop was Splash Out, twin water slides that were sufficiently tame that both Josh and I would survive the journey. I wasn’t reckoning on the owners making use of glacial melt, apparently shipped in just for the occasion. My hypothermic spluttering, as I exited the ride, providing some amusement to the teenagers staffing the place.

Emboldened, we grabbed some mats and made our way up to Surf Hill, multiple lanes of break-neck, undulating descent. The two older kiddies set off with gusto, whereas Jen and I were more concerned Josh would manage the take-off. I hadn't calculated the impact weight had on the rate of descent, and ended up accelerating past the kids like a middle-aged drag car, momentarily losing contact with the slide at each undulating drop. The sudden deceleration once I hit the pool of water at the bottom was sufficient to drive my clenched fist (previously gripping onto the above-mentioned mat) upwards, effectively giving myself a reasonable uppercut in the process.

Rubbing my jaw, I joined the rest of the Martin clan on the relatively sedate Rapid River, which consisted of sitting on an inflatable ring, drifting around a meandering water course.

The older two kids dragged Jen off to the Taipan (a high-speed thrill-ride by raft in complete darkness), as well as The Funnel Web (more disorientation, accompanied by a ride in a giant washing machine at the end) while Josh and I cooled our heels in Banjo's Billabong, catering for the younger crowd. Nevertheless, after copping a giant bucket of water to the noggin, and fleeing some fairly suspect wasps nesting near one of the slides, I almost wished I'd opted for the serpentine slide.

The older kiddies returned, with eyes firmly set on The Rock (a 5 metre and 3 metre drop into the water. Lily opted to go for the 3 metre drop after taking a peek at how high 5 metres really was. Hamish on the other hand, simply shrugged upon looking over the abyss, and leapt without a care in the world. I'd done sufficient damage to my nether regions with the relatively sedate slide off The Rock to count me out of any higher leaps (or walking in a straight line for some time).

We made our way back to Surf Park, having exhausted all ride options without a queue to be seen.

By now ravenous, we took on the burgers at Hungry Monkey, with Hamish and I sampling the "Bad Boy" (a multi-layered monstrosity), while Jen and the kids tried some Super Shakes (Kit Kat and Oreo shakes anyone?). Suffice to say, the burgers out-bad boyed the Martin bad boys, and we waddled our way past some Farmer's Markets, set up right on Kiama harbour.